shameless plug and gaming talk

Hi if you like gaming and lets plays you should check out this channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxCT0RwataUEvQP9wFDC_eg

here is a video

channel description

 

This is the channel for my Let’s Play projects. I mostly play Square-Enix, SEGA, or Nintendo games, but I do not limit myself from anything I want to play. I try to keep my videos clean, family friendly fun, but there may be mild (PG/TV-14) language here and there. I also do live streams at http://www.vgstreams.com/blaumagier and I help out The Speed Gamers to raise money for charity.

 

thanks for  checking out the channel!

speaking of gaming, i have been playing ff 14? yea, I think 14 is it. and my bby has been helping me.I am not much of a gamer, really noobish, but i do like playing it. i  do like the setting , and the graphics, i also had started playing Earthbound, as well. I like the setting and graphics on that one too, really colorful and cute.

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new video!

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new video! blog/update/store/blah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d01LtRf4pfE

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Favorite lolitas/internet people

Venus Angelic

youtube/venus angelic

she has cute and interesting videos.she looks cute and doll like!

Girlyhoot

https://www.facebook.com/girlyhoot

she has the most perfect coords

 

Lovely Lor I like her outfits and videos

Tabuchi

the founder of

http://www.shop-online.jp/spank/

cute pastel fairy like styles mixed with the American 80s culture

Yurie Sekiya

http://www.hanamizz.org/

https://twitter.com/?lang=en

I love her art it is so cute. I wish to collab with her one day

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update

Hi everyone. I’m well,despite I have a runny nose.Also can’t stop sneezing. Both my laptops now have broken keys..sigh.I might can make it to Rufflecon but I’m scared to fly by myself. But that is still a long time ahead.I am working on my store site and now I have to get the help of an outside source because the template is not as simple as I thought.I went home for 3 days and I let myself go a little, but intentionally, since now my metabolism seems to be working again.I bought Japanese from zero books 2-3 should be arriving soon.

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Hi

I’ve binged but don’t seem to have gained from it. I must get back on track , quickly!

I love and hate these things >>CHIPS-AHOY-WITH-REESES-269G<<I have to identify foods that trigger my binging. I think it was Taco Bell. I had perfect control until then. I’m starting to regain control.The binge was only for a day. I”m now 189 lbs…(I know I’m still fat)

I’m still practicing drawing.I found sewing classes near me My hooping is getting better.I feel like I need a heavier one now, for more of a challenge/workout.I saw my dad in the hospital today, he is fine, When I heard about it, I was scared. but seeing him doing well made me feel better.I cried with my puppy on my side for the fear of loosing him. But that doesn’t seem like an issue right now so I should not worry.

I went to Target and found these cute bags.I don’t know maybe they can hold craft supplies or something101_0598  oky byee

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I quit the store

Hi! Im excited to explore new ideas and goals. Im glad I didn’t waste anymore time/money into the store.I was restless and thrashing about and I decided to get more concrit. and that I did get *Protip if you want people to listen to you, don’t talk with such venom and malice. Because when people talk like that , I couldn’t differentiate between troll,or my stuff was really bad.You won’t get anything across by being nasty. I finally got it when someone told me in a nicer way. Its like when I realized when I was tone deaf..all that time I thought I was a good singer..but I sound like poo! Its pretty hopeless for me to go on when I cant tell good,bad and ugly, I thought if you love something, the talent would’ve came naturally. wtf am I typing in italics??

the talent didn’t come naturally for me. I don’t wanna waste anymore time on this.

I had such a big disconnect on where I was going wrong now I look back even what I thought what my best work was bad. Im still gonna draw for myself. though

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give away from Sugar Coated Sprinkles

Hi the cute store,Sugar Coated Sprinkles,

http://sugarcoatedsprinkles.etsy.com/ is having a giveaway!

Examples of what they sellil_570xN.718579549_rm7f il_570xN.718564557_ep8v Creepy cute and light pastel colors.10444361_803288479745900_1762846823458321253_nthey have plus sizes too!

here is the link to the giveaway https://www.facebook.com/SugarCoatedSprinkles/app_228910107186452 Good luck!

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thought broadcasting and valentines day


  • Happy Valentines day! I hope it will be a good one for you and yours . I spent sometime practicing drawing. I have new items in my shop. I wish I had some chocolates. Oh well. This will be my first year  without chocolates10997320_10153079536194395_2053167378220564228_n, I think.Still on my weight loss journey. Now for the post about me, and dealing with thought broadcasting. Feel free to ask any questions.


     

    1. In psychiatry, thought broadcasting is the belief that others can hear or are aware of an individual’s thoughts. This differs from telepathy in that the thoughts being broadcast are thought to be available to anybody.Thought broadcasting is considered a positive symptom of schizophrenia.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_broadcasting

     


     

    How it feels

    It feels like embarrassing thoughts are being projecting into the area/space where people are.The more I try to ignore it, the louder it gets, Then when it calms down/goes away. I am confused. I’m sure I haven’t said anything ,but still somehow convinced that I’ve said something offensive/embarrassing. that’s why Id need the constant reassurance that I haven’t said anything.


    How I’ve dealt with it.

    I’m finally telling my story about thought broadcasting. I first noticed it around age 10 /5 th grade. I don’t remember it bothering me much in 6th grade. In 6th grade, I don’t remember it bothering me at all.In 7th its seemed to get really bad. I was absent from school alot. I had to go to summer school to catch up. I had struggled all these years to put a name to what was bothering me. I couldn’t explain it right. Because I never experienced any thing like it before.The episodes lead to me wanting to hide and bad anxiety. It was the feeling of like someone can read my thoughts or, that, my thoughts could be projected ..(sigh its still embarrassing to talk about it but I am writing about this to help others)..that my thoughts can be projected into the room where others can hear.Of course they are embarrassing thoughts.It mostly happens with family/people close to me.Id always have to get assurance that I didn’t say anything by asking ” have I said something”. Sometimes over again.This thing is irrational, I know.It is another reason I am afraid to drink

It may be another reason why I hate falling sleep in public. I feel like my guard is down and people can go into my thoughts.I am also afraid of talking in my sleep I don’t know why.I don’t talk in my sleep,according to others. Of course the logical side of me knows this is not true, which is why it may have been hard to explain it.It caused me to leave high school because I couldn’t take it anymore. I acted that I didn’t care about truancy anymore(which I did, every phone call scared me) The ability to get homebound services were hard for me. Its like the school officials wanted to hide the program for me. I knew I had to leave , I knew I couldn’t function in that setting.so when I went to the nurse and they wouldn’t let me go home early . I always was in the nurses office, it seems.I never came back after that day. I think. I wasn’t 17 yet, so being truant was a fear hanging over my head.I ran away from school and I scared everyone. I walked home.I can still remember the day. It was a drizzly Monday morning.My family had left to take care of my grandpapa,which I had forgot they left that morning.so I sat on my porch.I didn’t mean to scare my family like that. It was a big assembly and I couldn’t take it.So I got ISS for it.AND I LOVED IT. It was my first time in iss, for anything.I kept trying to sneak my way back.Also, I loved being in the room with the disabled kids.But the year after, I couldn’t hang with them anymore :( I think this is some sort of high function schizophrenia I got going on. I don’t know.It still bothers me, but not as much since I can now remove my self from the situation. I guess its something that will be with me forever and wont completely go away.


 

 

 

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today

today was ok. i went out to eat with my family for my moms birthday. some pics i took before we left10960311_10153068912389395_121452548795184051_o 10959757_10153068910949395_4971166753191865259_n 1797970_10153068911014395_6558160684993848723_n 8938_10153068911119395_1287084177428988684_n

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